Anonymous confession may or may not be offered. I know that parishes are supposed to present the option and we are told that they do, but it is not always the case. When I was checking out parishes during my conversion process, I discovered that half that I visited had no real provision for anonymous confession -- about 4 of 8. Those had an open room with two chairs in the middle facing each other. Some of those also had a small wooden screen -- with or without accompanying chairs -- shoved up against the wall or in a corner of the room; clearly not often used. In these cases, the priest could not fail see the confessing person. So I chose a parish that had the traditional confession booths -- the closet where the priest is in his little nook and the confessing person is truly anonymous. I only make anonymous confessions. If you are concerned, I suggest you make the effort to determine the physical layout of the confessional and make sure that you will be offered an anonymous confession.

That being said, however, my first confession -- arranged by the priest who confirmed me -- was to priest in a Franciscan friary with us sitting in chairs facing each other. But he had talked to me for nearly a half hour before we retired to confess. He also gave me several jars of jam that he had made and told me stories about cheating in Latin class. But that was the exception that proves the rule. It was like confessing to Santa Claus.

In theory, both confessor and penitent should be able to choose an anonymous confession. Both have to agree for a face-to-face; at least, that's the way I understand it.

Thanks for the lesson on titles.

Yes, that was my understanding as well. But when the physical evidence is before me and when I hear parishioners gushing about their parish having departed the old-fashioned, dark, cell-like confessional for the more modern face to face version with folding chairs in a cheery, well lighted, unintimidating room, then I conclude that the pastor has decided that anonymous confession is not his preference. Or the norm in that parish. Making "open" confession a fait accompli. Which is why I reconnoitered before deciding where to confess.

BTW, one can confess at any parish, a common practice, I understand. I usually confess at several nearby parishes, as mine is farther away. Even at the parish where the pastor, an ex-Navy chaplain, can be a hard ass.

Where is the line drawn on morals that you need to confess. Example: I doubt that the Priest really needs to hear every small sin so that is why you include in the confession for every sin and those that I do not remember too? I guess if you feel bad about something and it is bothering you then this is where the line is drawn? I strive to keep my mind pure but when I see a woman that is not dressed modestly thoughts begin to come into my mind and try and kick them right back out so it's not a sin to be tempted but it is to dwell on it right or worse act on it. So you would need to confess for serious sins. What would the penance be for murder or better put involuntary manslaghter where someone gets off from the law but still has to go to confession?

It's good to confess them all, but you don't have to give a lot of detail. You can just say, "I have spoken ill of others" or something like that (giving an approximate number is a requirement only for mortal sins).

I don't know what penance I would give for a murder or for manslaughter.

would you consider withholding absolution for someone who confesses to murder but has not turned himself in (yet)?

No. I would have no grounds for doing so.

...check out new thread so as to avoid derailing this one...

This thread is very helpful to me. Thanks.

How to go to confession
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9ky_wzeo4o