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 Post subject: Re: Do good people look pretty?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2020 8:56 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Do good people look pretty?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2020 8:19 pm 
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Adept
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Jack3 wrote:
Thank you, that clears it up. On a side note, what makes a marriage good and strong?

So I think we're settled from the cross country move. Please forgive my late response and resurrection of a dead thread, especially for the weak answer I'm going to give.

I'm not a marriage expert. I know what works for me and my wife, and I suspect something like this is what works for all marriages. I don't think there's much of a mystery to it. You have to decide, from the outset, to commit yourself to what marriage actually is and avoid the fallacy of falling for what it isn't. It's not a love contract. Rather, it's the willful giving of yourself to another with the end of establishing a family and making a positive contribution to society. We both look at it that way. Of course, since that commitment is such a big deal, we both decided to marry someone that yes we found attractive, but who was a "good person." I wouldn't have married my wife (nor she me) if she wasn't the marriagable type, so to speak.

So that gets into the personal part. Assuming you know what it is and isn't, then the only real advice I have is to be a good person. Like, a legitimately good person. Do all the things that a good person ought to do, starting with loving your neighbor, in this case, your wife. I love her. I'm kind to her. I listen to her. I respect her. And so on. I don't do those things because of how I feel for her. I do those things because of the kind of person I am (or, better, want to be), and when I fail to do that, it's always entirely on me, and in my better moments, I see that. And that street goes both ways. The fun part is the romantic stuff follows all that. It's amazing how romantic it feels still after a decade, even more than at first, when you're with someone whom you love in the real sense, who loves you in the real sense. The love that western culture regards as the basis for marriage is actually a fruit of marriage. The commitment and choice to serve that western culture regards as the fruit of marriage is actually its basis.

So . . . yeah. That's sort of it. I just try to be good to her. In every way. In every arena of life. She's a human being, made in the very image of God, a daughter of the Most High, and His greatest gift to me. I love Him by loving her. I don't know if that answers your question, but I can genuinely say I can't give any better of an answer.

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Indeed, the Lord Jesus, when He prayed to the Father, "that all may be one. . . as we are one" (John 17:21-22) opened up vistas closed to human reason, for He implied a certain likeness between the union of the divine Persons, and the unity of God's sons in truth and charity. This likeness reveals that man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself. ~ Pope Paul VI, Gaudium et Spes 24.3


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