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 Post subject: What am I supposed to do with my lust?
PostPosted: Tue Jul 20, 2021 12:01 am 

Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2021 11:54 pm
Posts: 1
Religion: Catholic
I have a compulsive desire to masturbate several times every day and to spend a lot of time on pornography. And nothing I tried was able to improve my situation.

Ask for the intercession of different saints? Did not help. Pray the Rosary? Did not help. Consecrate myself to the Virgin Mary? Did not help. Novenas? Did not help. Receive the sacraments? Did not help. No spiritual strategy worked for me and because of that I came to two conclusions: either God is giving me graces, but I am throwing them away, or God is not giving me any grace and I should take this as a sign that I am destined to go to hell (meaning it’s useless for me to try to be a good Catholic). The inefficiency of these spiritual strategies made my faith drier; I haven't been praying much recently.

Accountability partners? I tried twice, it didn't work. Self flagellation? Yeah, I tried it, and did not work. Block pornography on my devices? I tried several times and it never worked. Leaving home? It is useless, because I will masturbate the moment I return home

This whole situation is fueling inside me a hatred against human sexuality and against women, because while I am guilty of consuming lustful content, there are a lot of women who are guilty of giving me the opportunity to consume that content which they themselves help to produce.

I would not be able to go a week without masturbating and watching porn, even if my life depended on it. And I absolutely refuse to go to confession more than once a week because of the same sins; the shame and humiliation it causes me is too much for me to endure. I would rather put my soul in danger than confess these sins on that frequency.

The urges to masturbate and / or watch porn NEVER go away. How am i supposed to fight against urges that torment me all the time? There is always a moment where my willpower is too worn for me to be able to continue fighting; it's like running from a predator: you can't do this forever because you will eventually get tired.

The Bible says that God will not allow temptations that are greater than our ability to resist them (1 Corinthians 10:13), but I believe less and less in this passage. I can't see mylself as being able to resist these temptations.

I feel like I'm in a situation where I have nowhere to run. Anything I try to do will end up causing me frustration, hatred, shame, sadness and hopelessness. I'm not even here to ask for advice; I just really wanted to complain about my problems to someone.

 Post subject: Re: What am I supposed to do with my lust?
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2021 4:07 pm 
Trophy Dwarf
Trophy Dwarf
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Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2005 12:10 pm
Posts: 34922
Location: Here in the center holding my bleeding heart...
Religion: Catholic Convert
Church Affiliations: Dorothy Day Guild
My best suggestion is that you find regular spiritual direction.

Living life on prayers and hooks and needles...

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