Is it possible that this loneliness is a cross to bear? My best years are gone, and I can tell find anyone my age ...it I still soul crushing.

First off, your best years are not gone.

Many people hit some of their strides in life late. I know a man who got a law degree in his 70's after doing something completely different in every decade between 40 and 70. Let God work that detail out. Where there is life there is hope. I heard a nun speak last weekend about her brother who was in an unfortunate accident in his late teens that has left him bedridden for the rest of his life. He is the best prayer warrior she knows. Prayer is about all he can do but God has seen fit to allow him to use such a heavy cross in amazing and glorifying ways for the benefit of others.

On the other issue, I'll offer you this. I believe one needs to become detached from the idea that they need anyone in their lives other than God even IF they are married. There comes great peace in life when you come to the realization that you ONLY need Him. Pour yourself into your faith and cultivate that relationship with fervor and zeal. It will not leave you empty.

+1

I struggled with not having a spouse in my life for decades. While I would still welcome the vocation of marriage, I am content with being single...not happy....but content. It was a miraculous grace when I turned 50.

God has a unique plan for each of us. A plan that is best for our salvation.

My friend, take heed to the advice given you. Better to be single and longing for the right person than married to the wrong person. I finally married the "right person" two weeks before my 50th birthday, but endured 24 years of intimidation and fear because I was settled for whoever was willing when I "heard my biological clock ticking." While I cannot allow myself regret because that would mean regretting my three wonderful children and three adorable grandchildren that resulted from that abysmal marriage, I still castigate myself from time to time for my impatience and wish I had chosen better for the sake of my children (who would have been different, I know, but they didn't ask to be born into the situation into which I put them - and for that, I feel solely responsible).

I wish to Heaven someone had taken me aside when I was impetuous and impatient and told me this: "Don't marry someone you can live with; marry the one you can't live without."

I know you've heard it (and perhaps even said it to yourself ad nauseum), but please be patient, my friend, and don't try to do God's work for Him. Meanwhile, I shall

Is it really a cross to bear, or an opportunity to let God work miracles through you?


I'm 44. Never been married. Sure, I've had a few girlfriends in my time, but overall, I've mostly been single. My last GF really helped put things into perspective for me. When that relationship finally (and thankfully) ended, I realized that if I had stayed with that girl, I would have not been free to do a number of things I feel I was meant to do. The most important being being that I want to help others in need, specifically in Armenia. It is the first nation which declared itself Christian and her people are being crushed in between Genocidal Turkey, Bigoted Azerbaijan, and a corrupt government which runs the country. If I am with someone or married, my time and money must go to that. If I am single, my time and money can go towards helping others, like kids in the poor villages who are trying to better themselves despite their run down, Soviet-era schools. There is also an orphanage I want to help contribute to in the town of Gyumri.

There are so many things to do and people to help in this world, and when you are single, you can really make a difference in several people's lives. I don't see it as a cross, I see it as an opportunity to do God's work.