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Need help: 4 Q.'s about love
http://forums.avemariaradio.net/viewtopic.php?f=18&t=156125
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Author:  Dionysius [ Wed May 28, 2014 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Need help: 4 Q.'s about love

*If you can only answer one question, that's fine too. The first question is the most important at the moment. Thanks in advance.

Q1. How do you know that you love another person of the opposite sex; I mean someone who you might be dating or courting, etc. and you are discerning marriage to some extent in your heart with this other person?

Q2. After I receive answers on here and then discern whether or not I love the person (say the answer is yes after discerning), should I tell them?

Q3. Is there a proper amount of time to wait before telling them? I mean should you wait until your 6 months into the relationship (3 months, 1 year, etc.)?

Q4 Last question: what if you believe you might be called to the religious life at the same time? Should you not tell them if you love them (unless they ask)?

Author:  kage_ar [ Fri Jun 06, 2014 2:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help: 4 Q.'s about love

Love is not some squishy thing you mysteriously fall in and out of... that is Hollywood.

Love is a choice you make.

Discernment is a process, if you feel you may have a vocation to religious life, contact the vocations director at your Diocese. Work with them.

Should you discern that marriage is your vocation, then, seek out a Catholic who is faithful and seeking marriage, be a friend and determine if you have the same goals (you want to live in the country, she is a city girl... those sorts of things) and there is some chaste attraction there. If you have the same shared faith and values, begin chastely dating with the intent to seriously discern marriage.

Author:  Bombadil [ Fri Jun 06, 2014 6:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need help: 4 Q.'s about love

That's a really good answer.

To #1. You'll know. To 2&3. Eventually. They'll probably know already. A good time will come up.

I'd say that there are several "loves". There's the floating on air romantic love. It is fleeting. A marriage needs to be grounded on a harder love. That comes later. You need common ground and an ability to cooperate and a similar outlook.

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