Login Register

All times are UTC - 5 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic Page 1 of 1   [ 7 posts ]   
Author Message
 Post subject: Dysfunctional families, out of wedlock children and the Chur
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 2:36 am 
"Mt:19:14: But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

I have a current situation where I want my step-grandaughter to attend a Catholic Church and get involved in the Catholic life. I am a person born with two natural parents, who may have divorced due to indifferences with religious aspects. My father is Catholic, my mother is secular and had obtained custody of me, and pretty much, raised me in a secular world.

I have been recently reverting to Catholic Tradition, studying the Catechism of the Council of Trent, and have yet to gain perspective on the "Vatican II" principles.

My questions is thusly:

I have divorced from a prior relationship that was State issued and proclaimed divorced. I later, after 6 or 7 years remarried to the current wife, we have gone through our ups and downs, but seem to have established a strict coherency with each other and now have what remains of a dysfunctional family that (through her divorce issues as well) is trying to eastablish a Church background through our Step-Grandchildren.

The problem is, our step-children have had relations where children have been born out of wedlock. I want to uphold Catholic Tradition in the newfound families that have evolved, as they perceive a love from my role-model (for lack of a better term), but am under the impression that my step-children as well as their children (the ones I am trying to get back into the Catholic Tradition) may not be able to truly and without any reprimands or such, be able to have communion. The parents of the Step-Grandchildren are atheist, and are OK with bringing the Step-Grandchildren to Church as they apparently do not care what tradition they are raised in.

I see this as an opportunity to save the younger children and produce a future tradition within their younger generations, and may even begin to help convert or convince the older generations that the Church is the way to go.

I apologize for my discrepencies in the past and the lack of experience that has resulted in this. I guess this is a confession on my part. I have need to learn more of the Catholic Cannons and Traditions and am willing to accept the constructive criticism that may come forth.

I may not be perfect, nor have I had a perfect life. I just want to uphold what Jesus had stated in the above verse, and not to turn them or future generations from the truth. I have seen in the last 38 years what that produces.

I thank you for any help you may give me, and look forward to your message.

You may address your concerns at lour.1@netzero.com.

Thanks, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Lou.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:05 am 
Offline
Handmaids of the Lord
Handmaids of the Lord
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2003 10:04 pm
Posts: 12516
Location: Middle of nowhere
Religion: Catholic :)
Are you planning also to come back here to check for replies?

Anyway, the best advice that any of us can give you is to go and explain all the details to a priest, who will be able to explain to you who needs to obtain a declaration of nullity, and who may and may not receive the Eucharist. The priest will know which questions to ask and how to explain the various reasons behand the Church's reasoning as they apply to each situation (as it appears that you have several going on :))

In the meantime, I think what you are doing is wonderful, and I hope and pray that all works out for you to bring your family back to the Church Christ founded. Welcome to the Church and welcome to this board!

_________________
O God, our refuge and our strength, look down in mercy on Thy people who cry out to Thee, and through the intercession of Mary, the virgin Mother of God; Saint Joseph, her most chaste spouse; Thy holy Apostles Peter and Paul, and of all Thy Saints, hear our prayer for the conversion of sinners, and for the liberation and exaltation of our holy Mother the Church. Through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:11 am 
Offline
Handmaids of the Lord
Handmaids of the Lord
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2005 8:43 pm
Posts: 14262
Location: West of Pittsburgh, PA
Religion: Catholic
Welcome to the board lourd.1. I commend you for your desire to help your family members return to the Church and to bring the little ones to the Church.

Your situation sounds very complicated and it would probably be best for you to talk to a priest, explain it all to him, and seek his advice. You need to address your own previous marriage as well as your wife's (If I read correctly that she has also been previously married.) If either or both of you have been previously married and not received annulments of those marriages, you also should not be receiving communion. Again, please see a priest as soon as possible.

_________________
"Do not conform yourself to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:41 am 
Offline
Head Administrator
Head Administrator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Aug 18, 2002 9:24 am
Posts: 73636
Location: Music City
Religion: Catholic
Three of my grandchildren are Catholic, and their parents are not. One of them was born out of wedlock. I don't think that matters with children. Your Step-Grandchildren should be able to receive the Sacraments of the Church. You'll need sponsors for them. As to the marriage issues, you'll need to consult a priest. My husband and I had to petition for annulments. It took 3 years. Don't give up hope.

Siggy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 10:47 am 
Offline
Board Administrator
Board Administrator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 12:38 pm
Posts: 9415
Location: Detroit
Religion: Catholic
"out of wedlock" is not an impediment to recieving the Sacraments of the Church*.

It really is more of a secular concept dealing with inheritance that anything from the Church. "Out of wedlock" children can (and should) be taught the teachings of the Church and recieve the Sacraments no differently than any other children.



The Church views all as Children of God, and God desires His Children to come to Him.



*- A Bishop must give special approval to a canidate for priesthood if the child's parents were not married. This is insure that the canidate has a proper understanding of the concept of fatherhood that might be missing in an irregular family. But it will certain not prohibit ordination.

_________________
-----------------------------------------------

Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 12:52 pm 
Offline
Deceased
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2002 3:45 pm
Posts: 6695
Location: Boston (Roslindale), MA
Religion: Catholic
Brendan wrote:
"out of wedlock" is not an impediment to recieving the Sacraments of the Church*.

It really is more of a secular concept dealing with inheritance that anything from the Church. "Out of wedlock" children can (and should) be taught the teachings of the Church and recieve the Sacraments no differently than any other children.



The Church views all as Children of God, and God desires His Children to come to Him.



*- A Bishop must give special approval to a canidate for priesthood if the child's parents were not married. This is insure that the canidate has a proper understanding of the concept of fatherhood that might be missing in an irregular family. But it will certain not prohibit ordination.

I am almost certain that under the current (1983) CODE OF CANON LAW illegitimacy is no longer an irregularity or impediment for ordination (or admission to a seminary) as it was in the old 1917 Code. Under the old Code, a dispensation was needed. Now it is not.

{I checked my copy of the 1983 CODE and found nothing about illegitimacy and ordination. There is no statement saying it is an impediment, but there is a complete list of impediments and illegitimacy is not one of them. A commentary I have even states that in the 1983 CODE there are no canonical effects of illegitimacy.}


Edward Pothier


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2005 11:10 pm 
Offline
Jedi Master
Jedi Master

Joined: Sat Nov 20, 2004 5:58 pm
Posts: 2311
Lourdot,

I am a priest and suggest that you may wish to talk to your local priest about this. The situation is somewhat complicated. The legitemacy or illegitemacy of the children is not an issue. But for a child to be baptized, the priest must have a well founded hope that they will be raised in the Catholic faith, and have the permission of the parents. Once they are baptized, they are eligible for the other sacraments, again with parental permission.

Now, two issues do arise. Occasionally you will encounter a priest who is less than enlightened, and who may assume that an illegitemate child will not be raised in the faith. So be prepared to state your case that you will take responsibility for this. Second, unfortunately in some parishes there may be some who take a dim view of people in non-traditional family situations. This is decreasing, but you may encounter it.

Finally, I was unable to tell from your post whether you and your wife are in a marriage that is recognized by the Church. From what you wrote, that would seem to have required annulments for both you and your wife. If this is an issue, you should talk to a priest about it.

God bless and good luck in trying to do all that you can to ensure that the children are raised well and religiously.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic Page 1 of 1   [ 7 posts ]   


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests


Jump to: