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 Post subject: Married for 35yrs,wife had tubes tied before I met her,
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 6:30 pm 
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Location: Ohio
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My wife had her tubes tied before I met her. We're both Catholic and were married in the Catholic Church. We adopted 2 children from India rather than her having tubes untied. My concern is how should sex have been practiced? Am I in grave danger after of being in Mortal sin after 35yrs being married and having sex before menopause? I didn't realize as of today after listening to a conversation on EWTN regarding foreplay and sexual arousal/climaxing before intercourse could be wrong. Can someone please(preferably an apologist) try to answer my concerns?


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 Post subject: Re: Married for 35yrs,wife had tubes tied before I met her,
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 8:20 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2002 9:55 am
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For a sin to be mortal, three things are required:

1) What you actually did must be seriously wrong. Now, there is some debate over whether having sex with someone you know to have been artificially sterilized is wrong and whether there's a duty to attempt a reversal. To the best of my understanding, an attempt at reversal is not required and subsequent sexual acts are not wrong, but set that aside for the moment because there's a much more certain reason for you not to worry.

2) You must know that it was seriously wrong at the time you did it. From your post, it appears that you had no idea until today, so you didn't meet this qualification. If this is correct, then you did not sin mortally.

3) You must freely choose to do the wrong thing. You did, but since you didn't meet the second condition, this doesn't matter in your case.

If I read your post correctly, your wife has reached menopause. If so, future sexual acts are not sinful despite her sterilization. If not, you may want to discuss this with your confessor. Go with what he says, not with what some random guy on the Internet says (although I am a priest, known to the board administrators). Don't be afraid of embarrassing him and don't think that he'll think less of you. Neither one should happen.

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 Post subject: Re: Married for 35yrs,wife had tubes tied before I met her,
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 2:59 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:06 pm
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Location: Ohio
Religion: Catholic
Thank you Obi-wan Kenobi for responding to my urgent request. I will talk to my confessor as suggested.
I listen to Catholic Answers when ever I can as well as the Catholic radio station in my area(WLIB/1060 am) Canton, Ohio.
Can you recommend any specific articles pertaining to my described subject? I may have overlooked some in my research on the Catholic websites.
Thank you again.
God Bless,
Matt Sales


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 Post subject: Re: Married for 35yrs,wife had tubes tied before I met her,
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2015 4:29 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2002 9:55 am
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Location: 1.5532386636 radians
Religion: Catholic
Church Affiliations: 4th Degree KofC
I'm sorry, but I can't think of any articles right now.

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Nos autem in nomine Domini Dei nostri

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