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Returning...but it's diffficult
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Author:  Volatpropris [ Sun Jan 18, 2015 5:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Returning...but it's diffficult

Hi there. I joined the Church when I was in college. I was a music major and sang as a cantor for the Church for years before I felt called to join the Church. I married a craddle-Catholic in the Church and ultimately got a civil divorce after almost 9 years of marriage and 4 children, having been told by several priests that I had a duty to separate under the circumstances. I tried to maintain my faith but really had a horrible experience with the priests and people of the church I attended as I went through my divorce. I confided in only my confessor and one close friend and spoke of the condition of my separation/divorce and marriage to no one else, but my ex waged an unholy war aginst me through anyone who would listen. It was ultimately all too much (and doesn't bear going into as I did not wish then, or now to commit the sin of detraction) but those with whom he had shared calumny against me turned against me as well. There was literally no one who had not fallen to Satan's lies as pronounced by my ex as truth.

I ran (figuratively). I ran from the Church and I ran from the evil I was fighting. I, mistakenly, did not see that the evil had won for a time because I allowed myself to be convinced that the Church herself was evil since the congregants and the priests behaved as they did. Years after I fell away I remairried outside the Church and am now in a nonconforming marriage. I continued to share St. Phillomena with others as opportunity arose, said grace before meals and prayers at bedime with my children, and be "spiritual" but did not attend Mass, etc.

My ex sought an annulment but I opposed it because every one of his claims in the annulment were just as calumnious as what I experienced in our divorce and I could not, in good conscience, agree with his reasons why he should be granted an annulment, even though the granting of one would allow my own marriage to be blessed in the Church. My thought was that an annulment based on lies would result in a spiritually invalid annulment. At present, I am still fighting his request for annulment through the Rota but have no idea if I can seek an annulment myself based on the actual truth of defect since we are at the appelate stage (I was not given notice becuase me address changed and he managed to have the annulment granted stateside before I was aware of the totality of things). I really have little idea of where or how to begin and it is extremely painful.
Thank you for lisening.

Author:  Arky [ Mon Jan 19, 2015 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Returning...but it's diffficult

Welcome aboard!! :salut:

We are always willing to listen and will help wherever we can....there are many knowledgeable people on this forum including clergy. They will answer your questions charitably and honestly. I hope you enjoy your stay here!!

Author:  Dorothy B. [ Mon Jan 19, 2015 4:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Returning...but it's diffficult

Welcome to DCF! :)

May the Lord bless you and lead you on your spiritual journey. :pray:

Author:  Obi-Wan Kenobi [ Mon Jan 19, 2015 5:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Returning...but it's diffficult

I know (because I've talked with people in the process and the people who help them) that dealing with annulments is painful, so please don't think you're the only one who struggles with this.

When it comes to specific marriage/annulment questions, the only answer anyone on the Internet can give is, "Ask your local priest." He might send you to someone else who is better trained, but whoever you end up with will know a lot more about the process and how it works in your area than any of us will.

Author:  Volatpropris [ Mon Jan 19, 2015 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Returning...but it's diffficult

Thank you for the welcome. :wave

Author:  Catholic Rose [ Mon Jan 19, 2015 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Returning...but it's diffficult

Hello and welcome, Volatpropris! :wave

I do not have any advice, but will :pray: for you.

Author:  Jackie [ Tue Jan 20, 2015 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Returning...but it's diffficult

:wave Hi, Volatpropris! Welcome to the board.

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