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 Post subject: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:08 pm 
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Master
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My patience is being pushed to it's limit.
I work as a personal banker at a small bank in Wisconsin. I had been with Chase for the past 14 years, but my job moved to another state and here I am at a relatively new job.

I work with a woman (assistant branch manager) who regularly complains about how sexist the world is... how sexist men are.
I've developed a skill of smiling and nodding.

This same lady when conversing with the other woman teller regularly talks about how stupid men are, how deficient they are on almost every possible metric you could devise for a human.
We're not in a huge banking branch so you hear everything everyone says.

It's kind of a blessing because as of late I've been praying to God to be more patient and humble.... and what better an opportunity than this.

But the other thing is that there is not a customer that she interacts with that she doesn't badmouth to some extent after they leave. There's always something they did to offend her that she just has to air out. That's a bit harder to deal with... keeping my mouth shut there.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 12:33 pm 
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When did Ashley Judd get into banking? :troll

Seriously, though, if you haven't done so already, start documenting every time she discusses within earshot of you her sexism paranoia. Document exact wording as much as possible, and separate exact quotes from paraphrases. Note others who witness these incidents and/or discuss her rantings and ravings with you. Keep this info either in a personal cloud (i.e. from your smartphone) or a notebook you keep on your person. Do not, under any circumstances, keep this info on your work computer or in a work-based cloud.

Also, as soon as is practicable, contact your local workforce office and find out how you can file a hostile work environment complaint. It is illegal for your employer to retaliate against you for filing a complaint. If any attempt is made to discredit or dismiss you (or even if you perceive an attitude change), document it.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:38 pm 
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How many men work at the bank? A group complaint might be better viewed.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 1:40 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:05 pm 
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Mrs. Timmy wrote:
When did Ashley Judd get into banking? :troll

Seriously, though, if you haven't done so already, start documenting every time she discusses within earshot of you her sexism paranoia. Document exact wording as much as possible, and separate exact quotes from paraphrases. Note others who witness these incidents and/or discuss her rantings and ravings with you. Keep this info either in a personal cloud (i.e. from your smartphone) or a notebook you keep on your person. Do not, under any circumstances, keep this info on your work computer or in a work-based cloud.

Also, as soon as is practicable, contact your local workforce office and find out how you can file a hostile work environment complaint. It is illegal for your employer to retaliate against you for filing a complaint. If any attempt is made to discredit or dismiss you (or even if you perceive an attitude change), document it.


What she said. Don't ignore the bold print. A friend was in a situation but saved her notes and proof to work server. She was low on the totem pole, the man was high. She was escorted from building without ever able, even after she told of her proof, to go back to her computer. I am still unclear why those "investigating" couldn't accept or retrieve what was on her computer, but they wouldn't.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 2:22 pm 
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And for those of you who didn't get the Ashley Judd reference, here she is, making a total * of her sexist self on FB Live. :roll: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sexfAwHyziw nar (but Rickrolls are less painful)

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:16 pm 
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p.falk wrote:
My patience is being pushed to it's limit.
I work as a personal banker at a small bank in Wisconsin. I had been with Chase for the past 14 years, but my job moved to another state and here I am at a relatively new job.

I work with a woman (assistant branch manager) who regularly complains about how sexist the world is... how sexist men are.
I've developed a skill of smiling and nodding.

This same lady when conversing with the other woman teller regularly talks about how stupid men are, how deficient they are on almost every possible metric you could devise for a human.
We're not in a huge banking branch so you hear everything everyone says.

It's kind of a blessing because as of late I've been praying to God to be more patient and humble.... and what better an opportunity than this.

But the other thing is that there is not a customer that she interacts with that she doesn't badmouth to some extent after they leave. There's always something they did to offend her that she just has to air out. That's a bit harder to deal with... keeping my mouth shut there.



Welcome to America in 2017!

I am reminded of an exchange on an episode of 'Roseanne' back in the 90's, between Dan Conner, John Goodman's character, and his son

Dad, I thought it was good to be a man

Oh no, not since the late 60's

It's just the way it is, there's nothing you can do about it. Try working in academia, it is 1,000 times worse.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:29 pm 
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FWIW, it hasn't been a great time to be a woman, either, thanks to those stupid bra-burners. I got reminded of that every time I got on a campus bus while I was finishing my bachelor's degree during my third trimester. Anyone care to guess how many times I was offered a seat on the sardine-packed bus? If you guessed "zero," you win. I sure as hell didn't, and I got reminded of that every time we'd round a curve and my stretched-to-the-limit uterus took about 4 G's. :verymad: I cursed Betty Friedan every stinkin' time.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:10 pm 
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The sexism I find more mildly amusing because of how clueless she seems about her hypocritical standard. In a 5 minute span she can complain about sexism and then make some incredibly sexist comment about men.

The thing that really grinds my gears is the constant bad mouthing of customers (male or female). We're going through a merger with a larger bank and the changes will be coming in a few months. And I don't really want to bring anything up that could cost her her job.... during bank mergers anyone is expendable.

If we both make the cut I will 1st bring it up to her, which I know won't go well.... then I'll bring it up to management.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 4:24 pm 
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Mrs. Timmy wrote:
FWIW, it hasn't been a great time to be a woman, either, thanks to those stupid bra-burners. I got reminded of that every time I got on a campus bus while I was finishing my bachelor's degree during my third trimester. Anyone care to guess how many times I was offered a seat on the sardine-packed bus? If you guessed "zero," you win. I sure as hell didn't, and I got reminded of that every time we'd round a curve and my stretched-to-the-limit uterus took about 4 G's. :verymad: I cursed Betty Friedan every stinkin' time.


The younger generation these days is much more gentlemanly. When I was at UCF in Orlando, I often rode the shuttle bus between the two campuses, and not only do the boys often get up and offer their seat for the girls. Granted, they only did this because they thought it was a great way to get a date by impressing the girls, but of course, that was pretty much always the reason for the custom anyway.

And on more than one occasion, they got up and offered me their seat, because of course, I'm old, I need the rest more.

And when I was kneeling at Mass and had difficulty standing back up due to the pain in my knees, they often offered me a hand to help me get back up on my feet. The young people did that for me, the older people in my own age group at my current parish never have, no matter how much they see me struggle to stand back up after kneeling.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:04 pm 
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p.falk wrote:
The sexism I find more mildly amusing because of how clueless she seems about her hypocritical standard. In a 5 minute span she can complain about sexism and then make some incredibly sexist comment about men.

The thing that really grinds my gears is the constant bad mouthing of customers (male or female). We're going through a merger with a larger bank and the changes will be coming in a few months. And I don't really want to bring anything up that could cost her her job.... during bank mergers anyone is expendable.

If we both make the cut I will 1st bring it up to her, which I know won't go well.... then I'll bring it up to management.


If she's truly the kind of person you describe, do not, I repeat DO NOT directly approach her on the issue. It will not end well, and she will see to it that you live to regret it and that it haunts you for the rest of your career (if you have one at all by the time she's done exacting her revenge). If there is a way to make anonymous reports, (even if it's a customer service "complaint line"), use that. If not, approach her supervisor VERY discreetly, but document everything meticulously, just in case s/he's in cahoots with your boss.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 5:06 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:37 pm 
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Mrs. Timmy wrote:
p.falk wrote:
The sexism I find more mildly amusing because of how clueless she seems about her hypocritical standard. In a 5 minute span she can complain about sexism and then make some incredibly sexist comment about men.

The thing that really grinds my gears is the constant bad mouthing of customers (male or female). We're going through a merger with a larger bank and the changes will be coming in a few months. And I don't really want to bring anything up that could cost her her job.... during bank mergers anyone is expendable.

If we both make the cut I will 1st bring it up to her, which I know won't go well.... then I'll bring it up to management.


If she's truly the kind of person you describe, do not, I repeat DO NOT directly approach her on the issue. It will not end well, and she will see to it that you live to regret it and that it haunts you for the rest of your career (if you have one at all by the time she's done exacting her revenge). If there is a way to make anonymous reports, (even if it's a customer service "complaint line"), use that. If not, approach her supervisor VERY discreetly, but document everything meticulously, just in case s/he's in cahoots with your boss.


Thanks for the advice.
I'm not exaggerating when I say she has something negative to say about everyone

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:50 pm 
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Mrs. Timmy wrote:
p.falk wrote:
The sexism I find more mildly amusing because of how clueless she seems about her hypocritical standard. In a 5 minute span she can complain about sexism and then make some incredibly sexist comment about men.

The thing that really grinds my gears is the constant bad mouthing of customers (male or female). We're going through a merger with a larger bank and the changes will be coming in a few months. And I don't really want to bring anything up that could cost her her job.... during bank mergers anyone is expendable.

If we both make the cut I will 1st bring it up to her, which I know won't go well.... then I'll bring it up to management.


If she's truly the kind of person you describe, do not, I repeat DO NOT directly approach her on the issue. It will not end well, and she will see to it that you live to regret it and that it haunts you for the rest of your career (if you have one at all by the time she's done exacting her revenge). If there is a way to make anonymous reports, (even if it's a customer service "complaint line"), use that. If not, approach her supervisor VERY discreetly, but document everything meticulously, just in case s/he's in cahoots with your boss.

Nonsense. He should just walk up to her and ask her why she is so wildly sexist and such a rude and offensive person.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:54 pm 
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Bombadil wrote:
Nonsense. He should just walk up to her and ask her why she is so wildly sexist and such a rude and offensive person.


That is a fantastic idea if the plan is to find a quick way to lose his job.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:55 pm 
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Obi-Wan Kenobi wrote:
Quote:
Betty Friedan
Peoria's great gift to the world. I don't think Dan Folgelberg makes up for it.

Between the two, I really don't know who's more vile. :barf:

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2017 9:55 pm 
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One of those makes me :cry: (You're on a roll with this :fyi: )

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 1:45 am 
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See, padre? I don't discriminate. I treat everyone with equal contempt. :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:31 am 
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I agree with Mrs. Timmy.

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 Post subject: Re: Working with a wildly sexist woman
PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:17 am 
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The offensive woman is the assistant manager in a small town and you are relatively new there. Small town is a key thing to note.

My advice . . . tread lightly. Safer yet, say and do nothing.

She has been there for longer than you. She no doubt has friends and family throughout the community , which probably explains how she got the job and why she gets away with being so obnoxious. In a situation where it's the local girl versus the outsider, you will most likely lose.

If she's relatively new too, same advice. Stay back, keep your neck as far away from her sphere as possible, and watch. She will eventually hang herself. However, if she has grown up in the area, friends and family will be there to catch her and she will be ever-protected from her own bad behavior.

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