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 Post subject: Re: Funny quote from Mother Angelica
PostPosted: Sat Jul 24, 2010 9:12 am 
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The Exterminator
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Jesus wasn't "nice". :fyi:

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 Post subject: Re: Funny quote from Mother Angelica
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 6:32 pm 
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Master
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Bombadil wrote:
Jesus wasn't "nice". :fyi:


That is a matter of opinion.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny quote from Mother Angelica
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 6:57 pm 
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Sons of Thunder
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Peetem wrote:


And if my mother received burnt food she would have said, "I'm sorry to bother you [server] with this, but I think my foods been a little over-cooked. Would it be possible to get another plate that's a little less done." Or something to that nature...

Its probably just the southern boy in me that thinks being blunt isn't generally the most charitable way to correct a situation or solve a problem.


It's probably the northern boy in me that thinks honesty is the best policy, and gets the heebie-jeebies around those who think form must supersede function in communication. In the case of the burnt food, I would not suggest to the waiter that serving customers is a bother, or that it is anything other than the obligation of the restaurant to serve properly-cooked food. If the food were burned, I would be inclined to say -- politely, of course -- "Waiter, this is burned." I would then expect him to apologize, and to offer to replace the dish. If he did not have enough sense to do that, and instead asked something dim such as "what would you like me to do?" I would tell him "Please take this away, and bring me one that is properly cooked."

I will also tell you that some statements that I have thought perfectly polite have been taken as personal affronts by some southerners to whom I have made them, especially in cases where advice was asked about plans and I replied honestly that the suggested plans were not a good idea.

Northerners and southerners really do not think the same way.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny quote from Mother Angelica
PostPosted: Sun Jul 25, 2010 7:36 pm 
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King of Cool
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Peetem wrote:
Doom wrote:
Peetem wrote:
Doom wrote:
That's an extremely bad video, nothing but audio and the volume is so low you can't even hear it


My mother told me that unless I had something nice to say, don't say anything at all.


In general, that's a really stupid principle. Pretending that problems don't exist and that everything is perfect isn't nice, it's cruel.


I don't disagree. However how one identifies the problem can be said in many different ways.

How about - "I had some problems hearing the video. It is probably just my computer (or me), but did anyone else have this problem and what did you do to fix it?"

And if my mother received burnt food she would have said, "I'm sorry to bother you [server] with this, but I think my foods been a little over-cooked. Would it be possible to get another plate that's a little less done." Or something to that nature...

Its probably just the southern boy in me that thinks being blunt isn't generally the most charitable way to correct a situation or solve a problem. And no, I'm not some rube-hick who cannot negotiate or manage tough situations either. :)


That approach isn't 'polite' it's condescending, show enough respect for people to speak to them directly, dancing around the issue with euphemisms is frankly more insulting than just saying what you mean.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny quote from Mother Angelica
PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:20 am 
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Master
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Doom wrote:
That approach isn't 'polite' it's condescending, show enough respect for people to speak to them directly, dancing around the issue with euphemisms is frankly more insulting than just saying what you mean.


That would be a matter of opinion (being blunt). :)

Somes years ago I had a lady working for me that cried at every turn - I mean if you looked at her sideways she cried. So the time comes for me to give her annual review. Since it was my first, our assistant general manager wanted me to conduct it in his presence and would later coach me on my performance. I thought it a great idea.

Now this lady wasn't a performer. She had several reviews from the same fellow as well as a host of other managers over the years. Mind you, I didn't point out that nobody in the past had fired her or done anything to help her improve. They were looking for me to fire her.

So after her review (which wasn't good) the assistant general manager looked at me and said, "You didn't make her cry". He said it in a way that implied he was disapointed.

I offered that it served no purpose to make a person cry. Information can be given in two ways....

Well she improved and is still employed.

Perhaps if I was managing a plant up north I would have to take a different approach. But in the south, its not condecending or speaking down to a person to be nice in your assessment of the situation. Nice doesn't mean one doesn't point out negative behavior. It means one uses tact if at all possible.

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