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 Post subject: Thongs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:11 pm 
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You can occasionally get a little humor when a reader at Mass makes a blunder. I had such a surprise earlier this liturgical year as the reader read the Old Testament reading assigned for the Fifth Sunday of Ordinary Time (Year C). The reading was Isaiah 6:1-2a, 3-8. (The omission of the end of verse 2 is about the six wings of each seraph and what each used them for.) This is from the famous prophetic call of the prophet Isaiah.

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<Isaiah 6:1>In the year King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a high and lofty throne, with the train of his garment filling the temple.
<2>Seraphim were stationed above; [each of them had six wings: with two they veiled their faces, with two they veiled their feet, and with two they hovered aloft.]

<3>"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts!" they cried one to the other. "All the earth is filled with his glory!"
<4>At the sound of that cry, the frame of the door shook and the house was filled with smoke.

<5>Then I said, "Woe is me, I am doomed! For I am a man of unclean lips, living among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!"
<6>Then one of the seraphim flew to me, holding an ember which he had taken with tongs from the altar.

<7>He touched my mouth with it. "See," he said, "now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed, your sin purged."

<8>Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?" "Here I am," I said; "send me!"

THE WORD OF THE LORD

The reader, a young woman (I think a college freshman) made a faux pas in this reading. At least I am about 90% sure, but I do not have a recording. In reading verse 6, highlighted above, she appeared to have read it not as "an ember which he had taken with tongs from the altar" but as "an ember which he had taken with thongs from the altar".

Oww, talk about hot pants!



The impetus behind my posting on this confusion, months after the lector incident, is a comic which appeared in my Sunday paper on 7/11/2010. It had nothing to do with the Bible, Isaiah, or tongs; only about thongs!
Attachment:
Rhymes_with_Orange 20100711 thong2.gif


Edward Pothier


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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:30 pm 
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You must be wrong. Are there thongs in Boston?


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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:30 pm 
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::):

One day we were at the pool, I asked my son and my niece to go "get my thongs out of the trunk". They almost fell over. I realized then that one is old fashioned if you refer to flip flops as thongs. :fyi:

The best lay reader faux pas I've witnessed was the gentleman reading the story of Jonah - I swear, that account said the word "Ninevah" at least 7 times.

The reader said "Nivea" every. single. time By the third instance my visions of sinners with very dry skin had me :laughhard

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 8:41 pm 
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The very best example of a misreading of the scriptures was when I was reading about Paul was 'the apostle to the genitals'

That was when I was a kid, but that is the main reason I have never volunteered, and will never volunteer, to be a lector.

Another good one going back to when I was in high school, this one wasn't by me but by somebody else...reading a passage about 'sexual immorality'.....except it came out 'sexual immortality'

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:40 pm 
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Yours made me snort out loud, Doom.

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:46 pm 
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My favorite one, not really a misreading, just a lapse of control, was during a televised Easter Vigil. The priest was dipping the Candle into the water and his glasses fell in and he said "sh$%"...the commentator covered for him by making up a prayer and saying the first two words in Latin, "Deus scit" (God knows- sc is pronounced sh here)

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 11:51 pm 
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Speaking of readings, here is one that irritates me to no end: during the Holy Thursday Mass, the reading is from the Gospel of John and the story is of Judas' betrayal

The NAB renders the verse 'Judas, son of Simon called the Iscariot,.....blah blah blah'

I am pretty sure that's wrong, the comma is in the wrong place, the NAB makes it seem like it is Simon who is called 'the Iscariot'....but it isn't...it is Judas himself...

It SHOULD be 'Judas, son of Simon, called the Iscariot....'

Drives me batty every single time I hear it read that way

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 7:32 am 
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One Easter Sunday my Dad was preaching (he is an evangelist) - he could see my mom struggling NOT to laugh on the front pew... after the service he asked her what was going on. She told him that as he recounted the story of Christ's crucifixion, he over and over said "Then the Russian soldiers" did blah blah blah.

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 7:38 am 
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Doom wrote:
The very best example of a misreading of the scriptures was when I was reading about Paul was 'the apostle to the genitals'

That was when I was a kid, but that is the main reason I have never volunteered, and will never volunteer, to be a lector.

Another good one going back to when I was in high school, this one wasn't by me but by somebody else...reading a passage about 'sexual immorality'.....except it came out 'sexual immortality'

Ahhh, sexual immortality! But aren't you supposed to call your doctor if it lasts for more than four hours?

Long ago and in another thread (cue Star Wars music) I wrote about an author (Dale Ahlquist {sp?}, the president of the American Chesterton Society) who on an EWTN program told of reading G.K. Chesterton's The Everlasting Man while on his honeymoon. I admitted then to my slightly(?) perverted sense of humor, and how my first thought was that I hoped that he hadn't been misled by the title and thought it was a How-to book on male lovemaking "staying power".


Edward Pothier


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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:15 am 
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I was wondering when I was gonna get to the good part of that book. I guess I'm not. :crying:

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:02 pm 
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caleb wrote:
You must be wrong. Are there thongs in Boston?
Yes, there are thongs in Boston (and not just the Kage-ar "flip-flops" type). Boston has lost its Puritan spirit!

About my being wrong (presumably about the "tongs" to "thongs" reading switch which I claim I heard), it is possible but unlikely. I almost always have read the Sunday Lectionary readings 2 or 3 times during the previous week, as well as usually another time from the missalette when I get to church. In addition, this Isaiah 6 reading is quite well known to me. So when the unexpected word came up, it was prominent (to me!).

I am not a linguistics expert. But if the apparent reading was "changed" in the other direction, i.e. the written "thongs" pronounced like "tongs", I would be less surprised. It some languages and dialects, including Haitian, the "th" is not usually pronounced the way we do in American English, but more like a bare "t".


Edward Pothier
P.S. For another peculiarity, consider the word "missalette" which I used above. I usually type my posts into a MICROSOFT Word document, with spell-check on. The "missalette" got red-squiggled. The first suggested correction was "mistletoe". Think of the implications – if you are at church sitting near an attractive woman, by the authority of Microsoft Corporation, you can hold a missalette over her head and give her a kiss! You don't even have to wait until Christmas time.


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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:24 pm 
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At the Sunday evening Mass, many times they do not have a lector on the schedule, so the priest will ask someone at the last minute to do it. It's been quite a while, so I don't remember the reading, but I do recall that once when this happened, the gentleman who did the reading kept misreading "brazier" as "brassiere" ... several of the college guys sitting in front of me were struggling to keep their composure. ::):

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2010 3:51 pm 
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I was at Mass one time when the Old Testament reading was that portion from Genesis 15 where God makes a covenant with Abraham:

Quote:
Abram put his faith in the LORD, who credited it to him as an act of righteousness. He then said to him, "I am the LORD who brought you from Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land as a possession." "O Lord God," he asked, "How am I to know that I shall possess it?" He answered him, "Bring me a three-year-old heifer, a three-year-old she-goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtle-dove, and a young pigeon." He brought him all these, split them in two, and placed each half opposite the other; but the birds he did not cut up. Birds of prey swooped down on the carcasses, but Abram stayed with them. As the sun was about to set, a trance fell upon Abram, and a deep, terrifying darkness enveloped him. Then the LORD said to Abram: "Know for certain that your descendants shall be aliens in a land not their own, where they shall be enslaved and oppressed for four hundred years. But I will bring judgment on the nation they must serve, and in the end they will depart with great wealth. You, however, shall join your forefathers in peace; you shall be buried at a contented old age. In the fourth time-span the others shall come back here; the wickedness of the Amorites will not have reached its full measure until then." When the sun had set and it was dark, there appeared a smoking brazier and a flaming torch, which passed between those pieces. It was on that occasion that the LORD made a covenant with Abram


OK, fine -- except the young man who read the passage clearly did not know what a "brazier" was, or where to put the accent. You guessed it; he moved it to the second syllable, and so what we heard was that when it was dark what passed between the sacrifice was a smoking brassiere....

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 7:03 am 
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Custos wrote:
I was at Mass one time when the Old Testament reading was that portion from Genesis 15 where God makes a covenant with Abraham:

Quote:
Abram put his faith in the LORD, who credited it to him as an act of righteousness. …

When the sun had set and it was dark, there appeared a smoking brazier and a flaming torch, which passed between those pieces. It was on that occasion that the LORD made a covenant with Abram


OK, fine -- except the young man who read the passage clearly did not know what a "brazier" was, or where to put the accent. You guessed it; he moved it to the second syllable, and so what we heard was that when it was dark what passed between the sacrifice was a smoking brassiere....
Goes well as a matched set with the "hot pants", i.e. the thongs with burning embers, in my original post of this thread


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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 9:27 am 
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Edward Pothier wrote:
Goes well as a matched set with the "hot pants", i.e. the thongs with burning embers, in my original post of this thread


Yeah -- what is it about the Bible and descriptions of flaming underwear, anyway?

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JOHNSON: "Sir, I have never slept an hour less, nor eat an ounce less meat. I would have knocked the factious dogs on the head, to be sure; but I was not vexed."


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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 10:22 am 
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I know am constantly paranoid that I will confuse 'prostrate' with 'prostate.'

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:39 pm 
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When my sister was at bible college this incident happened. Most of the students and faculty have lunch in common--it was a small school at the time--and the freshmen are often selected to say the prayer for the meal. Being preachers-in-training, they get all het up with themselves, but being in front of all the faculty as well, they also get tongue-tied. One young man in particular must have had some other burden on his mind as he prayed, "Forgive us, Lord, our falling shorts." :laughhard Yes, indeed.

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 9:17 pm 
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These are all very good reasons in favor of the liturgy being in Latin. :fyi:

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 12:59 am 
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CCB wrote:
These are all very good reasons in favor of the liturgy being in Latin. :fyi:



Yeah, because no one can POSSIBLY mispronounce Latin....

Errr..... :scratch:

What a bizarre argument

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 Post subject: Re: Thongs
PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2010 5:36 am 
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CCB wrote:
These are all very good reasons in favor of the liturgy being in Latin. :fyi:


And of using memorized prayers well-written by folks smarter'n us, like saints. :fyi:

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