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 Post subject: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 10:56 am 
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It's like an addiction. I watch it almost everyday, I've got the full box set of DVDs, and the first movie and I've just ordered the second movie from amazon. I find it comforting and calming, it's almost like the characters are my friends, not really friends but familiar and comforting, and no matter how many times I watch it, it always makes me laugh. I never thought I was doing anything wrong until my boyfriend pointed out that it seemed incongruous that I had been watching the God channel and then immediately put on a Sex and the City DVD. I've done that often, and didn't see anything wrong with it. Is there anything wrong with it? Please only comment if you have watched Sex and the City enough to comment.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 4:13 pm 
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I've watched it, it is like a deep fried twinkie, not healthy as a everyday food. For a healthy person, once in a blue moon won't kill you.

Does it lead you into sinful thoughts or desires? You do not have to answer, just to consider.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2018 6:03 pm 
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kage_ar wrote:
I've watched it, it is like a deep fried twinkie, not healthy as a everyday food. For a healthy person, once in a blue moon won't kill you.

Does it lead you into sinful thoughts or desires? You do not have to answer, just to consider.

I think they are cautionary tales: This is what will happen if you behave like these women, you won't find true love. This is how NOT to behave.

Watching it doesn't encourage me to have the kind of sexual relationships these women have, in much the same way that watching Columbo doesn't encourage me to murder someone.

Characters in Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Frasier, etc, have sexual relationships, so if nobody should watch Sex and the City, wouldn't that mean nobody should watch Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Frasier, etc?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 9:15 am 
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Sorry, maybe this topic was too trivial for this forum, but in another sense it's not too trivial. I never know where to draw the line. I feel guilty sometimes about enjoying watching Sex and the City but if it's wrong to watch Sex and the City, how many other tv programmes and movies should we not watch? Should we never watch any programmes or movies that have sexual scenes or sexual themes? Do I say to my boyfriend "I don't want to go to the cinema to see A Star Is Born because there are probably sex scenes in it? Do I say I also cannot go to Bohemian Rhapsody because there are probably homosexual sex scenes in it? I don't want my life to be so restricted.

It's the same with my physical relationship with my boyfriend. Do I say I can't kiss you in case I get sexually turned on? He'll think I've gone crazy or gone off him.

How do you know what's right and wrong, in the real world of real people. It must be tempting just to say no to everything, just in case it's wrong, but would that bring happiness or would it lead to immense frustration in missing out on things that make life enjoyable? Lack of enjoyments could lead to depression. Loneliness can lead to depression. But when I do things which religious people tell me might be wrong, I get anxiety, which can also lead to depression.

I had a child outside of marriage because I followed my heart, and religious people tell me that was wrong, and make me feel guilty about it, and yet I don't regret it, how could I regret having a beautiful daughter?

So I think what I'm saying is that half the time I don't know what's right and what's wrong. No matter what you do, someone will tell you it's wrong. Even if you're a practicing Catholic, some other Catholic will tell you that you're the wrong type of Catholic.

I'm reminded of the song, I think it's Ricky Nelson, You can't please everybody so you gotta please yourself.

But I'm not even sure what pleases myself, or what pleases God. Where is the guiding light in this world. The Bible can be interpreted in so many different ways. Does being a Catholic mean I have to tell my gay friends they are an abomination. Am I supposed to bring up my daughter with that attitude? What if she turns out to be gay? I have no control over that.

It's all too difficult for me to know what to do, what's right, what's wrong, so many different opinions.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2018 11:29 am 
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If possible look for a good spiritual director in your area: a priest who is knowable and devote, a sister if there is a convent nearby, or someone else you can trust in spiritual matters. The best way to sort out these kinds of scruples is to speak with a director and obey them, all the Saints recommend the practice.

You might want to draw the line wherever you can make a meaningful distinction such that one side is clearly wrong and the other clearly not. Try not to be overly zealous when you're with other people unless something is so manifestly pornographic it's undeniable or a particular temptation for you to sin, it might be better to just grit your teeth and ignore it unless again it is an occasion for sin. But in all things, prioritize the advice of a competent spiritual director over people on the internet, even if we're all trying our best to help you :)

In physical relationships, that can be a tough one because sometimes we retrospectively look back and think "Man I should have stopped before x." Two questions to ask yourself: (1) If this person is not my future spouse, hypothetically, but my future spouse is right now with his current girlfriend, would I be okay if the two of them were doing what we are doing now? (2) Would I be comfortable or proud to tell my mother or grandmother about what we are doing?

Of course, you shouldn't regret the birth of your daughter, and its great that in your situation you chose life. But at the same time, it is well known that children raised by married couples are much better off, and just because God brought good out of your sin does not mean the acts that lead to your daughter coming to be where themselves good. God brings good out of evil, but we still must avoid evil. I actually am guilty of the sin of fornication, when I was in high school. I truly regret it and was very relieved that on becoming Catholic I could lay it down in the confessional, yet I still wish I could tell you I never did it. But like all sins, we repent and make a resolution not to sin again.

I know it can feel like there is no light in darkness of confusion, but really the only way to have light in this world is to do two things: (1) have a good will, do not ever deliberately desire to sin and seek to please God when you can (2) Abandon yourself to God's providence,

"For though I should walk in the midst of the shadow of death, I will fear no evils, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they have comforted me."

It is not always for us to know what plans God has for us, but we need to resolve to love Him and trust that whatever happens, He is still in control.

If you can find a copy of this book or read the pdf it might help you.

Lastly, your gay friends are not abominations. They are immensely loved by God, as Jesus Christ came to earth and died for them. They have a particular cross Christ is asking them to carry because they will have temptations you or I will not have. But Christ asks us to carry our cross daily, and as much as He hates sin, He still came to die for all sinners.

"And then come, and accuse me, saith the Lord: if your sins be as scarlet, they shall be made as white as snow: and if they be red as crimson, they shall be white as wool. " (Isaiah 1:18)

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In Te speravi, Domine: dixi: Tu es Deus meus, in manibus Tuis tempora mea.
Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak: heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled.
All that the Father giveth to me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me, I will not cast out.
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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 7:32 am 
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ForeverFaithful wrote:
If possible look for a good spiritual director in your area: a priest who is knowable and devote, a sister if there is a convent nearby, or someone else you can trust in spiritual matters. The best way to sort out these kinds of scruples is to speak with a director and obey them, all the Saints recommend the practice.

You might want to draw the line wherever you can make a meaningful distinction such that one side is clearly wrong and the other clearly not. Try not to be overly zealous when you're with other people unless something is so manifestly pornographic it's undeniable or a particular temptation for you to sin, it might be better to just grit your teeth and ignore it unless again it is an occasion for sin. But in all things, prioritize the advice of a competent spiritual director over people on the internet, even if we're all trying our best to help you :)

In physical relationships, that can be a tough one because sometimes we retrospectively look back and think "Man I should have stopped before x." Two questions to ask yourself: (1) If this person is not my future spouse, hypothetically, but my future spouse is right now with his current girlfriend, would I be okay if the two of them were doing what we are doing now? (2) Would I be comfortable or proud to tell my mother or grandmother about what we are doing?

Of course, you shouldn't regret the birth of your daughter, and its great that in your situation you chose life. But at the same time, it is well known that children raised by married couples are much better off, and just because God brought good out of your sin does not mean the acts that lead to your daughter coming to be where themselves good. God brings good out of evil, but we still must avoid evil. I actually am guilty of the sin of fornication, when I was in high school. I truly regret it and was very relieved that on becoming Catholic I could lay it down in the confessional, yet I still wish I could tell you I never did it. But like all sins, we repent and make a resolution not to sin again.

I know it can feel like there is no light in darkness of confusion, but really the only way to have light in this world is to do two things: (1) have a good will, do not ever deliberately desire to sin and seek to please God when you can (2) Abandon yourself to God's providence,

"For though I should walk in the midst of the shadow of death, I will fear no evils, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they have comforted me."

It is not always for us to know what plans God has for us, but we need to resolve to love Him and trust that whatever happens, He is still in control.

If you can find a copy of this book or read the pdf it might help you.

Lastly, your gay friends are not abominations. They are immensely loved by God, as Jesus Christ came to earth and died for them. They have a particular cross Christ is asking them to carry because they will have temptations you or I will not have. But Christ asks us to carry our cross daily, and as much as He hates sin, He still came to die for all sinners.

"And then come, and accuse me, saith the Lord: if your sins be as scarlet, they shall be made as white as snow: and if they be red as crimson, they shall be white as wool. " (Isaiah 1:18)


The bible says that if homosexuals have a sexual relationship they are an abomination and should be put to death.

How would I go about finding a spiritual director and how would I know if it would be wise to obey him or her or not? Suppose they told me something I didn't agree with? If I wanted to go to a counsellor or psychotherapist, I would want to see their qualifications first, make sure they are properly qualified and would do me no harm, how would I know if a spiritual director was properly qualified and wouldn't do me any harm?


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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:42 pm 
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Denise Dee wrote:

It's the same with my physical relationship with my boyfriend. Do I say I can't kiss you in case I get sexually turned on? He'll think I've gone crazy or gone off him.



On this topic, imagine you and he are married. He has an old friend, a very attractive woman. She comes to visit and kisses him "hello", think about what sort of kiss you would find appropriate. This is how you should kiss any man to whom you are not married.

Things like movies or TV shows, if you are comfortable with your priest sitting down to watch it with you, then watch it!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:43 pm 
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Denise Dee wrote:
ForeverFaithful wrote:
If possible look for a good spiritual director in your area: a priest who is knowable and devote, a sister if there is a convent nearby, or someone else you can trust in spiritual matters. The best way to sort out these kinds of scruples is to speak with a director and obey them, all the Saints recommend the practice.

You might want to draw the line wherever you can make a meaningful distinction such that one side is clearly wrong and the other clearly not. Try not to be overly zealous when you're with other people unless something is so manifestly pornographic it's undeniable or a particular temptation for you to sin, it might be better to just grit your teeth and ignore it unless again it is an occasion for sin. But in all things, prioritize the advice of a competent spiritual director over people on the internet, even if we're all trying our best to help you :)

In physical relationships, that can be a tough one because sometimes we retrospectively look back and think "Man I should have stopped before x." Two questions to ask yourself: (1) If this person is not my future spouse, hypothetically, but my future spouse is right now with his current girlfriend, would I be okay if the two of them were doing what we are doing now? (2) Would I be comfortable or proud to tell my mother or grandmother about what we are doing?

Of course, you shouldn't regret the birth of your daughter, and its great that in your situation you chose life. But at the same time, it is well known that children raised by married couples are much better off, and just because God brought good out of your sin does not mean the acts that lead to your daughter coming to be where themselves good. God brings good out of evil, but we still must avoid evil. I actually am guilty of the sin of fornication, when I was in high school. I truly regret it and was very relieved that on becoming Catholic I could lay it down in the confessional, yet I still wish I could tell you I never did it. But like all sins, we repent and make a resolution not to sin again.

I know it can feel like there is no light in darkness of confusion, but really the only way to have light in this world is to do two things: (1) have a good will, do not ever deliberately desire to sin and seek to please God when you can (2) Abandon yourself to God's providence,

"For though I should walk in the midst of the shadow of death, I will fear no evils, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they have comforted me."

It is not always for us to know what plans God has for us, but we need to resolve to love Him and trust that whatever happens, He is still in control.

If you can find a copy of this book or read the pdf it might help you.

Lastly, your gay friends are not abominations. They are immensely loved by God, as Jesus Christ came to earth and died for them. They have a particular cross Christ is asking them to carry because they will have temptations you or I will not have. But Christ asks us to carry our cross daily, and as much as He hates sin, He still came to die for all sinners.

"And then come, and accuse me, saith the Lord: if your sins be as scarlet, they shall be made as white as snow: and if they be red as crimson, they shall be white as wool. " (Isaiah 1:18)


The bible says that if homosexuals have a sexual relationship they are an abomination and should be put to death.

How would I go about finding a spiritual director and how would I know if it would be wise to obey him or her or not? Suppose they told me something I didn't agree with? If I wanted to go to a counsellor or psychotherapist, I would want to see their qualifications first, make sure they are properly qualified and would do me no harm, how would I know if a spiritual director was properly qualified and wouldn't do me any harm?


You trust that your Diocese has trained them properly.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 7:05 am 
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It's not really possible to find a TV show with any sort of morals. The people who write the shows don't have an understanding of traditional morality. Frequently you will see a moral dilemma, and it's just a mess. Usually it isn't even a real dilemma, there is a clear moral choice, but they never arrive at it.

Yeah, it's junk TV, but so is everything else. At least in that show the problems are quite obvious for the most part, and not very subtle, so there's less chance of it being ingrained.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:09 pm 
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Denise Dee wrote:
[ if nobody should watch Sex and the City, wouldn't that mean nobody should watch Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Frasier, etc?

i have never watched any of those shows except Frasier, which i liked (don't watch "friv TV" anymore, mostly just news)

you know the saying Garbage in, Garbage out.. and the problems is that sometimes we humans can't tell Garbage from Healthy or we CAN but choose garbage anyway. I never was tempted to watch Friends bc it looked like garbage.. not saying it is but looked like it.. mostly bc the show wasn't on in the 50s... :) I mean, nowadays, it is all about sex.. the jokes on sitcoms are all centered on that kind of topic... garbage.

I don't mind a joke here or there on that topic but good grief.. that's all it ever is.. boring, if nothing else.


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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 1:10 pm 
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kage_ar wrote:
You trust that your Diocese has trained them properly.

Assuming your diocese has a training program, and knowing that (our mania for certification notwithstanding) it doesn't necessarily take a training program to become a good director.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 3:52 pm 
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Bombadil wrote:
It's not really possible to find a TV show with any sort of morals. The people who write the shows don't have an understanding of traditional morality.



Counterexample: King of the Hill

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 6:15 pm 
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flyingaway wrote:
Denise Dee wrote:
[ if nobody should watch Sex and the City, wouldn't that mean nobody should watch Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Frasier, etc?

i have never watched any of those shows except Frasier, which i liked (don't watch "friv TV" anymore, mostly just news)

you know the saying Garbage in, Garbage out.. and the problems is that sometimes we humans can't tell Garbage from Healthy or we CAN but choose garbage anyway. I never was tempted to watch Friends bc it looked like garbage.. not saying it is but looked like it.. mostly bc the show wasn't on in the 50s... :) I mean, nowadays, it is all about sex.. the jokes on sitcoms are all centered on that kind of topic... garbage.

I don't mind a joke here or there on that topic but good grief.. that's all it ever is.. boring, if nothing else.

You may be right but some of those shows make me laugh a lot and laughter is good for the body mind and soul. There's not that much that makes me laugh on the God channel, wouldn't want to watch it all the time :( I enjoy watching some well written well acted comedy sometimes ::):


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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 7:32 am 
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Doom wrote:
Bombadil wrote:
It's not really possible to find a TV show with any sort of morals. The people who write the shows don't have an understanding of traditional morality.



Counterexample: King of the Hill



Yup!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 3:13 pm 
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Sabbath wrote:
Doom wrote:
Bombadil wrote:
It's not really possible to find a TV show with any sort of morals. The people who write the shows don't have an understanding of traditional morality.



Counterexample: King of the Hill



Yup!

Yup.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 3:16 pm 
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Riverboat wrote:
Sabbath wrote:
Doom wrote:
Bombadil wrote:
It's not really possible to find a TV show with any sort of morals. The people who write the shows don't have an understanding of traditional morality.

Counterexample: King of the Hill

Yup!

Yup.

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 4:16 pm 
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It's a really great show I tell you what!

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 6:30 am 
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"I'm addicted to Sex and the City"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVMOlos4kVg

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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 1:24 pm 
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Doom wrote:
It's a really great show I tell you what!

I never get tired of it. I love it for all the reasons I hate The Simpsons. Hank loves his family, his job ("propane and propane accessories"), Texas, and fixing things. He has a preternatural suspicion of modern culture and disdains hippie influence. And soccer.

Answering Bobby's questions about PMS:

"Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn."

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Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn. - Hank Hill, explaining PMS


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 Post subject: Re: I'm addicted to Sex and the City
PostPosted: Mon Dec 10, 2018 2:33 pm 
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Riverboat wrote:
"Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn."

You ought to put that quote under your signature, rb. It’s worth seeing every time you post. :mrgreen:

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